What was it?

Was it love, lust or something else completely? I don't know how to explain the last year of my life. That's hard and seems horrible for me to say. I feel like my heart is mended ever since I went to church on Sunday (I go every Sunday, but yesterday seemed pretty special). Now I just have to understand the feelings I have for a guy that I've known practically my whole life. He knows I like him. I know he likes me... Pretty sure, but there's nothing done about it. Ya! You read that right. Nothing... Nada is happening. I ate dinner tonight with one of my best friends, and she put things into perspective talking about a guy she really likes. Our lives really are kind of parralel right now besides her having a son ;). She talked about how we could die not knowing how the other person feels, so it's not worth it not to talk to them or to play the stupid mind games. I feel like she is so right having been through really tough times.

My friend... We will just call him that... Is someone that I could totally see myself with most of the time. I think he's the kind of guy that my family would love that hasn't met him, and my friends liked. It's only hard to get him talking at times, but in my dreams he is quiet and they still like him then. Well... That kind of sounded like a stalker. Eeek! What I meant was that he shows up in my dreams a lot of the time and is interacting with my friends and family and keeping me close and being all cutesy and... Blah blah blah! See, the thing is... I think he thought he was worse than he actually was. He wasn't the most cuddly fellow, but I was okay with that. The few times he did let me in, I was very happy :).

There's really nothing else to say except that I wanna see my future still even though that would spoil absolutely everything ;). The end

Xoxo,
Blabbermouth :)