Impromptu post

Just adding this (wrote this yesterday) to the following post... I was really focused on buying a house and then reality hit that it would be awesome to SAVE money and buy a dream type house for my first home. These are the things that were in my mind while writing this .... not like having BAYBAYs! haha

This evening I'm feeling like I want to "jump the gun". When you're in a race, you always wait for the gun shot. I am just wanting to push! push! on! I'm so happy in life... great job and an even greater support system, but I feel unsettled- if that's the right word. 23 (and a half) is such a weird age. I know I'll look back and freak out at these amazing times. I feel like I need to not be such a doubting Thomas. I'm going to pray that prayer right now. Gimme 5.

Okay... Proceeding. I'm tired of waiting and wishing. God has it all in control all the time AND I need to practice what I preach. I'm done.

My new beau is so sweet and caring, and sometimes all I do is wonder what he's thinking. Let me just say.. That ain't gonna happen sister! To myself.

The male species is a wonder. I'm about 5% sure the guy will read this, so it's okay. Shout out to you babe if you do! You know the girl you're dating is a thinker. Sometimes all my mind does is think and wonder... Even while teaching. Is that bad?

In the past few years, I thought about what it would be like to graduate college, if I would be a teacher, what grade I would teacher if I graduated, how old I would be when I got married, would my husband be like my ex boyfriend and belittle me (when I say that I'm taking some of the blame too. I went back. I put myself in the position. I needed that mistake to make me a better, well rounded person and to push me to find the "right" guy for me), would I have kids, would I like little ME's  lol just to name a few of the thoughts I had.

Well fast forward and a lot of those questions have not been filled. I'm like whattttt? Greatness! How would that feel to actually have all answered. Thank The Lord, they're still questions and I can explore a little longer. Even writing that sentence I just had a thought. Do I really feel that way?

Where should I explore?

I think a lot of this was.... I lost my train of thought going from phone to iPad. Great! I hate when that happens in the middle of a great thought. When you don't have a ton you have to make it work! Anywho! I've been seeing people getting engaged and like my friends say, "I'm always at a wedding", so it's just weird wanting that and not wanting it all at the same time. I'm happy to be a young woman in a world that says (usually) that women can do as much as men.

Where did that come from? This was a kind of poor me-- privileged white girl and it's a Monday and now it's girl power. Welcome to my mind.

TTYL, 

Blabbermouth :)